Our time in life is limited and we must choose where we want to dedicate it. We know friendships are important, but are we making a conscious effort to decide who we invest our energy in? or is our time being hijacked?

Evaluating friendships is especially important when we go through a life change. Whether it’s moving to a new neighborhood, changing jobs, having kids, kids leaving to college, or pursuing a new hobby, all of these are examples of major opportunities to be introspective about the people in our lives.

Below you’ll find 20 factors I’ve compiled, as I go through my own journey of evaluating my friendships in a new neighborhood, as a single dad. As many of us start realizing how much time we spend on social media, dating apps, or other forms of entertainment, I hope this helps provide a framework to think about.

1. Convenience. Lives near me, available at similar times

2. Shared interests / activities

3. Working on a common project together, or working in similar spaces

4. Can offer me sound advice, whether it’s related to business or personal life

5. Makes me laugh, finds me funny, or in general is just a fun person to be around

6. Helps me get out of my shell

7. I can feel totally comfortable sharing anything, and vice versa

8. Makes an equal effort as I do to check-in

9. We find ourselves in similar life situations

10. Mutual friends in common. Having friends that can be part of our group can sometimes be more fulfilling

11. Similar backgrounds, shared experiences

12. Great listener

13. Offers fresh perspective

14. Makes me feel like I matter, offers compliments, lifts me up. I generally feel happier when I’m around the person

15. Shared views of the world, and of society

16. Cares about my happiness, is there for me

17. Pushes me to grow as a person

18. I just admire the person. They have a special talent or skill that I really appreciate

19. I feel like I have something to offer, and the other person appreciates that

20. The X factor? You can’t really put your finger on it, but you enjoy spending time with the person.

I’d like to hear which factors are important to you. Are there other factors that I’m missing in this list?

If you’re going through this process of deciding who you want to intentionally stay more in touch with, I invite you to download FriendApp, so that you can keep these people more top of mind on your phone.